During the Bodysex workshop, there was one magical moment, that changed my thinking and relationship with my Yoni forever. When we sat down in a circle, after the show and tell part, you got the possibility to look at your vulva and think of a NAME for her…hmm, I had never thought about my pussy as someone/somebody who can have a name, to whom I can talk to, with whom I can have a relationship with. This was kind of a surprising and intriguing task.
How would I name my Yoni?
She is the one who gives me all the pleasure, she is the one who gave birth to my son, she is the one who is loved and adored all the time by my partner… yet she has never been appreciated or noticed enough by me… I just did not pay attention, I did not know I should, I could have valued her more, been close to her, and thought of her like thinking of a best friend… And through the years of studying sexuality, tantra I understood she is my powerhouse, she is an energy cauldron that is able to change your reality, your life your world… But only when you become aware of it, only when you get mature enough to understand and see it.
So I was sitting in front of 15 women and thinking about what is a good name for her, with all her power, totality, and gratefulness I have for her. I know my pussy is very powerful, she is strong, decent, and loves to have fun. Orgasms and orgasmic energy is her best friend and she can go a mile to achieve picks you would not imagine exist. So I was happy to give her a name, which gave her a new birth actually. I used to call her cunt (in my mother tongue language Pizda), and I could not think of any better variant for her. It’s strong, emotional, and with character, I thought it’s a perfect fit😊 This is also how Betty Dodson was calling her vulva – cunt, and it was nice we both had the same vision… Betty in her 70ties was having a big problem with using the word cunt in her books, articles, or during her speeches. But she was standing a wall behind it and managed to get through. I think this symbolism is also nice for me – to continue the journey, to stay strong on the course with courage and strength worked cunt brings with it when in use, especially being a name to my powerhouse.
I didn’t realize the power of this exercise until a few months after the workshop had passed. During the naming ritual, you made a promise – a promise to your pussy. And I promised her to stay connected, to talk with her and give her a voice, to hear her. While keeping my promise, I started to listen to her – what are your needs today? How are you doing? Every time before penetration I ask her, if this is what she needs, are you ready for it, maybe we need some more time… It is so important for us as women to listen to ourselves, to feel when we are ready for whatever is coming close to our Yoni. Yet, so rarely do we give her a chance to be heard, so rarely do we have the courage to say no, not yet, or stop…
It took me a few months to realize the meaning of giving a name to my yoni. Only when I realized I talked to her, did I treat her equally with me… with my thoughts and wishes… and only then I started to make decisions, based on what she wants and needs. Suddenly my yoni stopped being something down there, kept deep, deep inside the basement, and instead became my friend, my steering committee of what and how we do, whether we feel good or not right for us.
I wish every woman to have a chance to experience this ritual and give her Yoni a name. The one that is coming first to your mind, or the one she will whisper to you when asked. It changes not only your attitude to your Yoni but also allows you to have confidence and connection with your body, with your true self…
I would have never thought that such a thing as naming your vulva is so powerful, and in certain dimensions allows you to be re-born again. You are coming together to the world now, your mind and yoni talk to each other and can share points of view on many aspects of your life. I am grateful to Betty Dodson for bringing this powerful yet so simple ritual into our lives.
And if you are reading it, just close your eyes, cup your yoni with both hands, and try to feel her.
Ask her: how are you today?
How have you recently been feeling?
What do you need?
And take a moment to feel her, maybe you will also be ready to give a name to her… And if you have no idea, just ask her to give you a hint, she knows for sure… just listen… her whisper is always a gift, a voice to your best self…
